July 7, 2019
The day the earth stopped spinning on its axis for that millisecond
The day I felt your heart stop as if it were my own
The day a part of my soul left and was taken up with yours
I heard code blue
I jumped up, because I knew
I felt my adrenaline overtake while others kept talking
I felt you leaving; didn’t they feel that
You were there the moment I came into this world
I was there the moment you left
The ICU was locked
The nurses said no one could come in
The door was going to shut
I ran in behind them anyway
I knew there was no where else I could be
I knew I had to be strong
I knew I had to be there
I knew this was the end of my life as it had been
On this day one year ago, I saw the image of my hero, my protector, my best friend of 37 ½ years leaving me, leaving this earth
On this day one year ago, I dropped to my knees and cried out for you not to go but I could feel you leaving
I knew you couldn’t stay
I didn’t want to know
I didn’t want to accept
I knew you had to leave that day, that hour, that morning
I didn’t want to say goodbye
I didn’t know such pain existed so I cried
I cried out to Yahweh
I cried, pleading as I wept
On this day one year ago
It feels like it’s been a thousand years
It feels like it’s been only minutes
It feels like I will never find myself again
It feels like a nightmare that I will awake from
On this day one year ago
My life forever changed
My world forever dimmed
My heart forever broke
I will see you again
I will hear your laugh again
I will hear your strong and operatic voice again
I will continue to make you proud while I am here
I will find a new way to live
I will be everything you raised me to be
I will carry you close to me this day and each I have left